when u take off ur iphone case and it feels like ur holding a newborn
why am i not some musician’s cute girlfriend who takes pictures backstage at gigs and hangs around with the rest of his band and looks really fashionable and makes all his little fangirls jealous i hate everything
i have shitty days and all i have to do is think of u and my day instantly becomes better
sometimes I think I’m better than everyone else but then I remember I am
there’s a me in lame for a reason
Me: Mom I don’t think I am getting any better, I still feel sick…
When you hit refresh and your follower count goes up
yes friends let us blaze the marijuana! four hundred and twenty haha
[starfire voice] MY ANACONDA DOES NOT WISH TO PARTAKE
Remember when missy elliott was on punk’d and was about to bust up that jewelry store over her missing chains?
me whispering to my dog in the dark: hey.. you still up?
pickup line: hey girl do you want to make a fragile human connection in the vast and unfeeling infinity of a chaotic universe
astronomers got tired after watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours so they decided to call it a day